27 days. I had a mental countdown going, but there is something about it being the same month that is doing weird things to my brain. In 27 days I will no longer call Colorado home.I find myself sitting with a lot of questions for the future–- some with answers, some without and even still more questions the more answers I find. Colorado has been a place I have grown to love and call home for the last six years. A place that I never thought I would leave, yet I find myself packing my room with no return date in mind. A place where I have seen the lord chisel me into someone I never thought I could be. A place that gave me friends I never knew I needed or would make. A place that forced me to grow in ways I never wanted to, but somehow still did. A place where I could try new things, fail and succeed, but keep going. As I think about leaving, I cannot help but think back to the first time I said ‘see you later’ to Denver in December of 2017 on gap year. I went back and read that blog post as I was leaving Denver, yet knowing I would come back. It is crazy how many of those things I was reflecting on then, I am feeling now. Here is that post. I want to hug sweet Amy and tell her that even though she has NO IDEA the good, the shit, the hard, the amazing that is going to come her way in the next 5 years it will be some of the best years of her life. I do not think I am fully ready to wrap my head around the fact that I am moving; but at the same time, I find myself wanting to rush this last month here to just move on with it. For the last year, I have seemed to find myself in the season of in between. Having a job, not having a job, maybe moving, maybe not moving, wanting to start new things but not having enough time As I was driving home tonight, I found myself thinking that maybe it is time I rename this season. I have been calling a season in between, but what if it just is. And for the time being the season that is, is one where I have to say goodbye to a place where I felt like I was able to become me. Colorado has given me so many things and taught me so many things about me, life and God. I don’t think I am ready to sit with all those things yet. My therapist and I were talking a couple weeks ago; leaving Denver does not mean I have to leave those things behind. Who I am as a person is not attached to a place. Slowly working though what that will look like in the coming months. But without goodbyes, there are no hellos (yes cheesy, I am sorry). These next few months are going to bring some exciting hellos. I will be moving back with my parents for 2 months. I will be working as a groom for my horse trainer, and going on the road to shows with her. Which shout out to god for that one–– it was a dream I had as an 18 year old and the timing never worked, so I pushed it off as something I wanted but would never get. Tender to see 6 years later it happened. My best friend and I will get to live in the same state for the first time since we were 18. I get to soak up some precious time with my grandmas. In mid October I will be moving to New Zealand for a year!!!! New Zealand has been a bit of a whirlwind. The short of it is, I found a job that was a DREAM, applied in January then spent the next 5 months in a waiting game with them. The whole time my prayer was for the lord to slam the door shut if this job was not how I was supposed to go to NZ. Well they never filled the role above me, which in turn left me without a job. I already had my visa though, so figured what is 12 months of my life in the grand scheme of it all. So with that I am moving to New Zealand! There currently is not much of a plan, but will figure it out once my feet are on the ground in October. I’m sure this won’t be the last blog about ending my time well in Denver. I do think it is crazy that 5 and half years ago, I wrote a very similar blog to then go spend some time in Kansas before moving abroad–– and here I am again following the same pattern. Here's to the season that is and the season that will become. With love, Amy
2 Comments
Lori
7/2/2023 09:06:51 am
Lovely, to say I’m proud of you doesn’t even cover it, to say I’m excited for you to live your next adventure isn’t quite enough, to say I love you isn’t loud enough. But all of that & more! Always remember you can click your ruby heels to come home to KS when you need. 🌻❤️
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Jeff
7/3/2023 05:55:31 am
Beautifully written Amy. Excited for the adventure you are on.
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